Frequently Asked Questions
Why am I the right person to have these conversations? I feel like I don't know enough.
That is exactly why you’re the right person! One of our goals with this initiative is to show people that it’s okay to ask questions or not know everything, and to give them people to learn with.
People are far more likely to be open to listening to people they already know and trust, and you’ll be able to leverage your position as a family member, coworker, neighbor, congregation member, or friend to start conversations and open doors that might be closed to others.
Trans people also have been bearing the brunt of having these conversations for years, and we need our allies to help us carry some of that load.
Everyone is the right person for this conversation.
I don't like to talk about politics.
Politics can feel contentious, and it would be great to live in a world where we don’t need to “get political”, or where politics didn’t feel so contentious. For years it was seen as “impolite” or “stirring the pot” to talk about politics, and seen as a sign of an intolerant person to confront someone about harmful beliefs or practices, and many chose to avoid these uncomfortable conversations altogether.
Unfortunately, this mentality is what got us into the mess we’re in in the first place. The normalization of anti-trans and anti-LGBTQ+ jokes, beliefs, and policies did not happen overnight—it happened because the waters were tested over and over again. Each joke met with nervous or uncomfortable laughter, each harmful belief met with a shrug or a change of topic, each bill met with little pushback or protest beyond from those directly impacted was taken as permission to go one step further.
For transgender people, we would love to not have to get political, and many of us try not to, but the reality is that our lives have been politicized against our wills. Our basic needs—healthcare, access to the bathroom, community, and safety—are the subjects of daily political debates and attacks, and we cannot choose to pretend it isn’t happening to avoid being seen as “impolite”.
For some this is a new way of being, and it may take some time to learn how to be comfortable with discomfort, but we are so glad that you’re ready to take that step with us.
There are people in my life who aren't going to like that I'm doing this.
You’re absolutely right, and that’s exactly why we’re having these conversations now. There is a very intentional effort to spread misinformation about this community, and unfortunately there is a significant amount of anti-trans radicalization happening across the state, and across the country, but that radicalization does not happen in an instant. It is a slow building of fear, anger, conspiracy theories, and a lack of pushback that allows people to fall down this hole, which means that there are many opportunities to stop people who are on that path.
There is a saying we like here, which is “If you’re trying to be my ally and the stones thrown at me aren’t hitting you, you aren’t standing close enough.” True allyship means helping to build a better world for the LGBTQ+ folks around you, and that means there are going to be those hoping for a worse world that aren’t going to like that you’re doing that, and that’s okay.